Two second grade boys, according to a story, were discussing their families:

Roger: "I have a new dad."

Jeffrey: "What's his name?"

Roger: "Alfred Miller. I call him Alf."

Jeffrey: "Oh, yeah, I know him. I had him for a dad last year. He's a good one!"

Whether we consider the above account sad or funny reveals whether we are aware how serious the situation is in our land. In America today, over half of all marriages end in divorce. One of every four American children will spend some part of his growing-up years in a one-parent home. And this is not to imply that the other three will all be in good homes.

Seventy or Eighty Years Ago…

Seventy or eighty years ago, home breakups were a rarity. Many rural areas had no such cases. True, some homes had lost a father through death, but through divorce, very rarely. Fathers earned the income upon which the family depended. Mothers kept house, attending to the needs of the family, and felt ashamed if those needs were not met. Everyone in the household was expected to contribute what he could. Each one was needed and appreciated. As family members gathered at home in the evenings, they enjoyed pleasant times of sharing, in the absence of TV's competition. Yes, there were exceptions to this peaceful scene, where liquor, unfaithfulness, or laziness prevailed. Those homes were objects of community sympathy and were by no means the norm.

The American Home Today

How the situation has changed! First the unchurched world practiced and accepted home breakups. Then church groups began wresting the Scriptures to make divorce and remarriage "acceptable." One writer observed that even among "Fundamentalists," leaders are divorcing, remarrying, and going right on preaching, teaching, and leading as if nothing has happened!

In addition to the home breakups, our day has brought other areas of deterioration. Someone has said, "The American people don't live in homes; they live in theaters." Why? The latest available figures show that 98 percent of the American homes have at least one TV set. Over half of these homes have more than one set. Children ages two to five are spending over twenty-eight hours a week watching these sets, while children six to eleven are similarly engaged over twenty-six hours per week.

What are they seeing? Worse than the unreal Alice in Wonderland type of TV diet is the world of mayhem, murder, violence, and so forth, to which the very young child is exposed. As the fruit of this, preteen children are committing murder to see how it feels to kill someone.

Parents are letting this happen, though God directed them to train up their children in the way they should go. God's plan for human offspring is that they need many years of parent dependency while maturing, rather than the few months or years that some of His other creatures need.

How to Detect Deterioration

How is it with your home? Is it a citadel of virtue and love, or has it been affected even slightly by the loose concepts regarding marital fidelity and child training existing on the American scene? Here are some warning signs along the way before the extremes of home deterioration are reached:

1. The head of the home relinquishes his obligation as disciplinarian, provider, and spiritual leader. His wife is not always certain where he is.
2. The wife, being more liberated than her earlier counterpart, has more outside interests and less concern for the orderly direction of her household.
3. Both parents lightly esteem the headship of Christ and the Scriptural directives for their family responsibilities. They side with their children when the children run into trouble with the school teacher or other authority figures.
4. One or both parents ignore their promise to love and cherish the other as long as they both shall live. Thus the marriage vows are broken, even if to all appearances the home remains intact.
5. Parents do not always know where their children are, what they are doing, or with whom they are spending their time. Parents will assume all is well if their own pursuits are not interfered with by responsibility for the children. Life revolves around the availability of the baby sitter.
6. Children disrespect their parents' values and teaching. Forbidden items are smuggled into the home and kept hidden from the parents.

The above seeds have been sown in the American homes of recent times. The harvest has been quite bountiful!

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Galatians 6:7).

The Seeds We Should be Sowing

Here are the seeds we should be sowing:

1. Teach and practice respect for God's commandments. Old Testament saints were directed to be doing this teaching at all times—when sitting, walking, lying down, or rising (Deuteronomy 6:1–8). That was only part of it, however. They were to lay up the Word in their heart, soul, and being, for proper direction in their own walk and doings (Deuteronomy 11:18–21). Teaching falls flat without a consistent example. That is why parents who drink alcoholic beverages are in a poor position to forbid drug use by their children.
2. Parents, see that you function as a unit in child training. It should raise red flags for us if Junior is trying to wheedle a yes out of Mother after Father has said no.
3. Maintain good parent/child communication. If we listen attentively to our six-year-old's chatter, he may then share with us when he is sixteen and faces a problem. If we do not listen when he's six, we will listen in vain when he is sixteen, for he will not be sharing with us.
4. Teach children to obey. The Bible says with good reason, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." The respect (or lack of it) that sons or daughters show for their parents will be the seeds of the harvest they also can expect to reap a few years down the road. The tears that youth cause in their parents' eyes will be turned into a flood in their own eyes by the next generation.

If we follow God's direction and sow the good seed in our homes today, our homes will be saved; yes, our homes will be blessed. Who wants to experience the alternative? Read Titus 2:1–7.

Language

English

Number of Pages

3

Author

Grant Martin

Publisher

Anabaptist Faith

Topics

Child Training

The Christian Home

Divorce & Remarriage