Marriage from a Biblical Perspective 

From Genesis 1:26,27 and 2:21-24, we learn that marriage was designed and instituted by God when He created and joined together the first man and the first woman in a one-flesh union. Marriage, therefore, as originally planned by God, is the joining of one man and one woman in a lifelong one flesh union.

That marriage is intended to be a lifelong union is set forth in the original declaration of God when He said, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24), and also in our Lord Jesus Christ's reference to this original statement when He declared that, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:9)

Inasmuch as God is the creator of man and woman and is the author and designer of marriage, we believe He has the exclusive right to establish the standards of marriage, as well as the exclusive right to say when a marriage relationship is to be dissolved.

Since the first woman was taken out of man's flesh (Genesis 2:21,22), and since in marriage two become one flesh, the marriage bond is basically a physical union. At his first sight of Eve, Adam declared, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. (Genesis 2:23). It is for this reason that marriage is binding only as long as both marriage partners live physically. God dissolves the marriage bond upon the physical death of either party (Romans 7:2,3; I Corinthians 7:39).

Although marriage is basically a physical union, the ultimate goals, blessings, and fulfillment of marriage can only be fully realized when it is enriched by spiritual oneness and spiritual ideals.

When physical death (not spiritual death) of one of the marriage partners takes place, it is lawful and right for the living one to marry again since the departed partner has moved into the world where they neither marry nor are given in marriage. (Matthew 22:30). See also Romans 7:2.

In order to insure oneness of ideals in the marriage union, the biblical injunction for Christians is to marry only in the Lord (I Corinthians 7:39). However, inasmuch as marriage is basically a physical union and is intended for the benefit and blessing of all mankind, a marriage comprised of unbelievers or the marriage of a believer with a non-believer constitutes a morally sound relationship. Children born in such unions are not born illegitimately or in a state of moral disgrace (Hebrews 13:4; I Corinthians 7:13,14). John the Baptist reprimanded King Herod, who was a part of an ungodly society, for having married his brother Philip's wife (Mark 6:17,18), indicating clearly that Herod's brother Philip and his wife had been legitimately and consistently married. And even though Herod was not a believer, his marriage to Philip's wife involved him in an unlawful marriage union in God's sight.

Marriage is recognized throughout the whole world as a wholesome and honorable relationship. The establishing of the marriage union varies some in different countries and cultures. In American society, marriages are generally initiated by vows of lifelong mutual love and marital fidelity on the part of those to be married, and then consummated by an authorized administrator. The mere sex union (fornication) of two unmarried persons does not constitute a marriage bond. While such a union is a one-flesh union (I Corinthians 6:15-18), it is not a union that God has joined together. Under the Old Testament, marriage was required following such conduct unless the father of the maiden objected. (Deuteronomy 22:28,29). If the act would have constituted marriage, the father could not have objected to the marriage because it would have already been consummated.

The Bible and Divorce

In the Old Testament setting, because of the "hardness" of men's hearts ("lack of spiritual perception" — Greek Concordance), God winked at the ignorance of man and permitted divorce and remarriage (Mark 10:5, Acts 17:30, Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

Along with God's tolerance of divorce and remarriage in the Old Testament, He strictly forbade a man who divorced his wife and married another woman to ever return to his original wife. This, God declared, would cause the land to sin (Deuteronomy 24:4). Centuries later the prophet Jeremiah observed that a divorced and remarried man returning to his first wife greatly polluted the land (Jeremiah 3:1).

Among the types of the Old Testament which are profitable for [New Testament] doctrine (II Timothy 3:16), the priests typifying the saints of the New Testament era (I Peter 2:9) were not permitted to marry a woman put away from her husband (Leviticus 21:7), thus typically furnishing for us an Old Testament foundational basis for the New Testament "no divorce and remarriage" principle and practice.

Therefore, in New Testament times, because of the 2 new universal Holy Spirit's reproving the world of sin (John 16:8, Acts 2:17), and because of the new light that Jesus brought into the world in which He restored and finalized the original divine ideal in marriage (Luke 16:18, Mark 10:2-12, Romans 7:1-3), and since the birth of the Church the marriage union is now a type of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32), God no longer winks at divorce and remarriage.

In answer to the Pharisees' catchy question, "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?", our Lord carefully explained God's original intent of marriage as a lifelong arrangement. In terms of authority and finality, He then placed a label of adultery on divorce and remarriage in the words, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. (Mark 10:11)

In Luke 16:18, Jesus again emphasizes the permanence of marriage in these words: Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery. In Romans 7:2,3, the Apostle Paul, by divine inspiration, also confirms God's original purpose of the exclusive lifelong union of husband and wife and places a label of adultery on divorce and remarriage. The "eth" on the end of the words in these verses means "action going on" or "to continue in a condition or an act." Thus the remarried state of those who have former marriage partners living is declared by the New Testament, for those living in the New Testament era, to be a state of continuous adultery.

The above New Testament scriptures allow for no divorce or remarriage for any cause whatsoever for those who have been legitimately united in the marriage bond. However, in Matthew 5:32, our Lord said — and repeated the statement again in Matthew 19:9 — that whosoever putteth away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. This exception, given only in Matthew's Gospel, must be understood in the light of the fact that Matthew wrote with a Jewish setting in mind and in light of Jewish custom related to espousals and marriages. After the couple to be married was declared husband and wife, there was a period of time before actual marriage rights were consummated. This is strikingly illustrated also in Matthew's account of Joseph and Mary's espousal and marriage (Matthew 1:18-25). In this account, in their espousal state before their actual marriage, Joseph is called Mary's husband in verse 10; and in verse 20, Mary is said by the Angel of the Lord to be Joseph's wife. When in their espousal state Joseph learned of Mary's prospect of motherhood, supposing she had committed fornication and being a just man, he was minded to "put her away" (divorce her). This would have been altogether consistent with Matthew's presentation of Christ's teaching on the permission of divorce on the basis of fornication. Joseph was then enlightened by the Angel of the Lord and was encouraged to proceed with his plans to be married to Mary, his wife. In Deuteronomy 22:23,24, a betrothed couple is also referred to as husband and wife. A severe penalty was laid on one who would be unfaithful to the other during this betrothal period.

Since fornication ("porneia" — Greek) and adultery ("moicheia" — Greek) are from two different Greek words, they must be considered in two different categories of conduct. The term "fornication" should be understood to mean sexual promiscuity among the unmarried while "adultery" is the sexual activity of a married person with anyone other than his or her marriage partner. When married and single persons are involved together in such conduct, the terms might be used interchangeably in describing their sinful act.

The clause, except it be for fornication, would suggest that in no other situation except for the espousal period, as in the supposed case on the part of Joseph with Mary, would divorce and remarriage be permissible. Nowhere in the New Testament is adultery said to be a legitimate reason for divorce and remarriage. This would be in keeping also with marriage as a type of Christ and the Church. The actual marriage has not yet taken place. Today the Church is espoused to Christ. She is to keep herself unspotted from the world as she waits to be called to the marriage of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9). That part of the professing Church which is not true to Christ during this period of espousal (Laodicea as an example, Revelation 3:14-22) has not made herself ready (Revelation 19:7) and will forfeit her right of being united with Christ, the coming Bridegroom, in this closest of all possible unions in which no divorce will ever be known.

Returning to the First Partner

In the New Testament era, when for any reason marriage partners become estranged from each other, the Apostle Paul presents only two possible options: 1) remain unmarried or, 2) be reconciled (I Corinthians 7:10, 11). A little later in the same context, after Paul declares that God hath called us to peace, he asks the questions; For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband, and how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save the wife? (I Corinthians 7:16). Perhaps he is here referring back to the possibility of saving the marriage partner and being reconciled again by refraining from marrying another person during their time of estrangement. This treatise by the Apostle Paul may be saying by implication what Moses said by direct commandment in Deuteronomy 24:3,4, in these words, And if the latter husband (that is, the husband she was married to after her divorce from her first husband) hate her and write her a bill of divorcement, or if the latter 3 husband die which took her to be his wife; her former husband which sent her away may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord; and thou shalt not cause the land to sin.

Since involvement in a second marriage with the first partner living closed the door for first marriage reconciliation in the Old Testament, and since the Apostle Paul with word from the Lord gives only two options for separated marriage partners, namely, remain unmarried or be reconciled, would it not be a safe position for any such involved persons to choose a life of celibacy in recognition of the seriousness of breaking that first marriage union? In the teachings of Jesus and the Apostle Paul on the subject there does not seem to be even a hint that after divorce and remarriage there should be a return to the original partner.

To the woman at Jacob's well who had previously had five husbands, Jesus declared that she had said it well and had said the truth when she told Him that she had no husband (John 4:17,18). The man she was then living with may have been by mere social connection, or he may have been the fifth by marriage. In either possibility, since she had five husbands, Jesus said the truth was that she now had no husband. This concept adds significant weight to the sacredness and permanence of the first marriage union and the seriousness of forsaking that union for the privilege of having another marriage partner.

Why Divorce and Remarriage Is Sin

God's requirements for marriage are based on his long-range interest in having godliness preserved in the earth. Already in Old Testament times, God warned against a man dealing treacherously with the wife of his youth (first wife) and stated His hatred for putting away (divorcing) that wife because He was seeking a godly seed. (Malachi 2:15,16). This is suggesting that a godly seed will not exist in a divorcing and remarrying society. One of the five causes listed by historians for the downfall of Rome is "divorce and decline of the home." The true church cannot exist, practicing or tolerating within its ranks that which demoralizes and destroys society and empires.

The New Testament always identifies the divorced and remarried relationship as a marriage, even though it is an unlawful and adulterous union upon which God cannot place his sanction or blessing (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:3). This would verify that God looks upon the marriage of a divorced person to another partner as a union effected, even though it is done in defiance of His holy plans in marriage. Our Lord's statement in connection with His teaching against divorce and remarriage, that What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder, suggests that through divorce and remarriage, a person can indeed "put asunder" something that God has joined together. The fact that under the Law of the Old Testament a divorced and remarried man could not return to his first wife again would certainly suggest the undoing of the first union. Also, the fact that under the divine order of the New Testament, separated partners are to remain unmarried in order to keep the way open for reconciliation, would again suggest that a second marriage would constitute the putting asunder of the first union.

Inasmuch as the standards of moral purity are strengthened rather than weakened or annulled in the New Testament, could the standards of the New Testament possibly be lower in any area on this issue? It would certainly seem that something which was an abomination before the Lord and that which would cause the land to sin (Deuteronomy 24:4), and that which when practiced greatly polluted the land (Jeremiah 3:1) when God winked at their ignorance and granted concessions because of their hardness of ... hearts (Mark 10:5) could hardly be winked at in the more enlightened New Testament era.

Since one of the main purposes of acquiring a divorce is to make it "legally" possible by worldly standards for another marriage, a true believer will seek to avoid divorce, even though separation may have taken place.

How Should the Church Respond?

Just as the Church loses her testimony against murder, drunkenness, theft, participation in carnal warfare, etc. when she invites or tolerates such activities in her fellowship, she also loses her testimony against divorce and remarriage when she receives or tolerates such unions within her ranks.

In order to deal redemptively with those involved in divorce and remarriage, we must preach a Gospel of deliverance that lifts them out of their adulterous relationships. The remedy for all sin is faith, repentance, confession, and forsaking. The biblical requirement is holiness without which no man shall see the Lord. (Hebrews 12:14)

The price of divine approval calls for complete self-denial and oftentimes a break in human relationships. In Luke 14:26, Jesus turned to the multitude following him and said unto them, If any man come to me and hate not (meaning "to love less" — Strong's Greek Concordance) his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." In Ezra 10, those who had taken strange wives in ignorance of the requirement of the law, some of whom had children born to them, put them 4 away to acquire the approval of God. The divorce mills today in America are putting asunder approximately 9,000 marriage partners daily, affecting approximately one million children annually. If the devil can get people to pay this kind of price for something that wrecks society, how much more should we be ready to pay whatever price is necessary for being found in the favor of God.

In Matthew 19:9-12, in connection with Christ's teaching on the adulterous relationship of divorced and remarried people, He used the illustration of some men becoming eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. That is, they rendered themselves incapable of the more intimate physical relations of married life for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Here Jesus alluded to the possibility of lifelong singlehood as a part of the sacrifice and the price some may need to, and are willing to make, for His sake. Sacrifice for the heavenly kingdom now and for heaven itself in the eternal ages will be worth more, at any price, than it takes to get there.

Summary

1. God made only one original man and only one original woman to supplement each other and joined them together in a life-long union of marriage. (Genesis 1:26,27; 2:21-24)
2. From the beginning of the creation, the divine ideal in all marriages was that one male and one female should share the marriage bond as long as they both shall live. (Mark 10:2-12)
3. Marriage was initiated and is designed for the benefit of all mankind in both a Christian and a non-Christian context. (Hebrews 13:4)
4. Due to a lack of spiritual perception in the Old Testament times, God tolerated divorce and remarriage. (Mark 10:2-8)
5. The Lord Jesus Christ brought a new light into the world, authentically restoring and finalizing the original divine ideal in marriage. (Mark 10:2-12)
6. In the New Testament era, to live in a divorced and remarried state with the former marriage partner living constitutes living in a state of adultery. (Luke 16:18; Romans 7:2,3)
7. A second marriage while the first marriage partner is living is considered a marriage in the Bible irrespective of its illegal and adulterous relationship. (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:3)
8. When one of the marriage partners is or becomes an unbeliever, this does not invalidate the marriage bond. (I Corinthians 7:12-14; Hebrews 13:4; I Peter 3:1)
9. When one of two unbelieving partners becomes converted, this does not invalidate the marriage bond. (Hebrews 13:4; I Corinthians 7:13)
10. When for any reason marriage partners become estranged, they need to stay free from any other marriage relationship in order to allow for reconciliation. (I Corinthians 7:11)
11. The one safe position for those who have become involved in divorce and remarriage and have more than one partner living is to free themselves from any marriage relationship in favor of a life of singlehood. (I Corinthians 7:11; Matthew 19:9-12)
12. The remedy for all sin is faith, repentance, confession, forgiveness, and forsaking. The Bible requirement is holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. See Proverbs 28:13; Luke 13:3; Hebrews 12:14.

In Conclusion

Since the birth of Christ and the birth of the Church (the Bride of Christ), and because the Church will eventually be united with Christ in a marriage union, the present marriage bond and marital fidelity between one man and one woman is a type of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32). Inasmuch as there will be no divorce issuing from that eternal bond, every marriage relationship which is broken today by the attraction and intrusion of a strange love is a broken type which God calls adultery.

Every husband-wife relationship should typify the satisfaction which Christ will find in His Bride and which the Church will find in Him — eternally.

For this cause also shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:31-33

More on this subject:

• Relating to Divorce and Remarriage
• Divorce and Remarriage, What Did Jesus Say?

Language

English

Author

Aaron M. Shank

Publisher

Pilgrim Mennonite Conference

Topics

Divorce & Remarriage

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